Thursday, August 2, 2012


"OMG,  your entire body is covered with tattoos.  Arms, legs, chest, and back.  Do you have a tattoo somewhere under those shorts?   You must not like yourself very much."  

"Stop snapping your gum!   You're driving me crazy.  Even though I'm listening to my iPod and there's loud music pumping out of the club's speakers,  I can still hear that gum."  

"You know what?  You are going to end up with a cervical disc problem like I did if you continue to whip your neck back and forth on the elliptical machine."  

"Wipe down the stationary bike, asshole.  No one wants to use it after you've sweated and slobbered all over it."

"OK, we all know you are beautiful.  We also know that you are French, that you speak another language besides English and that you want to impress everyone.   Your exercise partner looks embarrassed.  It bugs me that I don't know what you are saying."

"Ooo-eee,  you stink.  How often do you wash your workout clothes?   Well then, you need to either take a shower before the gym or start using  deodorant.  I can't stand being within 30 feet of you."  

"Hi,  Fun seeing you again today, but I can't waste another hour talking to you.   By the way, I'm tired of hearing about your Morton's neuroma and how you had to sell your stilettos and start wearing old lady shoes."   

"Are you planning to lay there on the hamstring stretching machine all day?  I mean, honestly, if you need to make a phone call, can't you wait until you are on someone else's favorite machine and not mine?" 

"I'm sorry, but this is my spin bike for today's class.  I reserved it with my water bottle and towel before I left to go use the restroom.   Well,  if it's your favorite too, then maybe you should have reserved it before I did."

"If you are a personal trainer and being paid $100 per hour,  shouldn't you be paying attention to your client and not looking at all the hotties working out?" 

1 comment:

  1. You go girl! Sounds like some of those things need to be said very loudly - especially about the spin bike, that's fully warranted.